Don't become a victim of your circumstances..

I'm a big believer in mind over matter. I believe we can take back control over situations that are out of our control, by thinking about them differently. We have conversations with ourselves day in and day out, and eventually these conversations make up our life story. They influence how we view the world and how we feel about ourselves. We either have positive conversations, that lead to a positive habit of mind (where we are aware of the negative but choose to emphasize the positive in spite of all the bad things that may be going on), or we have negative conversations that lead to negative mental habits(where we discount any positives and only see a small percentage of the big picture). We can become blinded in our negativity to the point we won't realize a good thing even if it hit us between the eyes (definitely stole this quote from 13 going on 30, and I am not shamed).

The process of changing these thoughts is a slow one, but it makes such a major difference. You become aware of those energy-sapping negative comments, point them out and label them as such (they deserve to be embarrassed and put in the spotlight), and challenge them--ask if they are based in reality, ask what feeling is behind them--rate that feeling, and eventually come up with an alternative statement. This sounds like a lot to do, and in the beginning it will feel like a lot, but with practice it will come naturally. This process (cognitive restructuring to give it a fancy name) actually changes the neural pathways in your brain, which leads to neuroplasticity (The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life). These are a bunch of technical terms for repeated mental action leading to lasting change both mentally and behaviorally.

This process can be done on your own, but it's a little easier when you have a trained professional there to help guide you.

Seeking therapy provides a perspective that can help you see things in a different light. Some people are naturally able to think of things more positively, while others take a little work to get there. Both are capable of feeling happier and seeing things more realistically. You create different meanings as you talk with others, and talking to a therapist is no different--you can recreate your mindset. When you begin to question your negative assumptions, and think about issues in a different way you are opened up to endless possibilities.

I have helped many patients gain new perspective on situations, not get as irritated by things that used to irritate them, and develop self-compassion. These are ingredients for a better quality of mind, and in turn life. The world continues to turn no matter what way you look at it, so why not give yourself a better view?