Suicide.

With the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain I am very concerned, as both a therapist and as a caring human being, about those who suffer from mental illness. My sister posted something on Facebook about her worry that these events will inspire others who are suffering to follow suit and it got me thinking. We want to talk about these tragedies because not talking about them can be detrimental, but we don't want to glamorize and give those that see no hope for themselves an (erroneous) answer to all their problems. We want these events to push those who are suffering in silence to speak out and get help, not fall further into silence permanently.

Suicide is such a taboo subject and I feel that causes a great amount of shame. I have personally known some who have chosen to end their lives and I get how it can feel shameful to explain this type of loss when someone asks you "How did they die?". Like most death, it's always harder for the ones left behind. But mental illness is a disease like any other and I hope that we are making moves towards destroying this stigma.

Those that suffer from suicidal thoughts can get help, and things can get better for them. Since what ultimately controls our mood is our interpretation of things, rather than the actual things that happen to us, we can choose to change the conversation in our heads. Not to say there aren't times when things do suck, but we always have a choice in what we do with that as well (see other posts for more on this). When you are feeling so low it's nearly impossible for you to see things any differently, but you always have an option to enlist the help of a trained therapist to help you get there when you can't get there yourself.

Some protective factors for those that are struggling with suicidal thoughts are having loved ones, gaining a sense of hope, and having a confidence in their ability to do something about this pain--which is always possible. These are all things that we can foster for ourselves in some way or another. I understand you can't just pull loved ones out of thin air, but there are some viable substitutes such as fostering new connections in the community, or getting a pet that can show you some unconditional love and acceptance.

The most important thing is to never keep these suicidal thoughts to yourself. Reach out to someone and share them. The minute you share how you're feeling the load gets a little lighter. Bringing these thoughts into the light takes away all the shame and embarrassment that can form when the thoughts are left alone in a dark little corner. Someone cares (whether it's a friend, family member, counselor, teacher, etc), and when you are feeling low you just need to remember that.

There are resources available to you if you are suffering, and you do not need to go through this alone.

If you or someone you know is suffering-- You can call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or the Crisis Text line where you can just text 741741 and text with a trained crisis counselor.